"Happiness is made of small things"

Sometimes, a kid hugs you. Apparently, there is no reason. Or, at least, you don't know the reason. But you hug him back. Instant happiness!

Since my last article was about how to stay up when your life goes down, today I want to share with you one of the (almost) daily small thing which makes me really happy, which can lift my day up. But before, some context about why today.

This Sunday is the International Day of Happiness. This is quite new thing, established by the United Nations in 2012. All the 193 countries reunited there agreed to recognise that happiness must be one of the cornerstones for the economy of the 21th Century, along with sustainable development and the eradication of poverty. Almost a human right.

But, what is happiness?? You will be agree with me that it is not something you can touch; barely you can see it. It's an state of mind, a feeling you may express or not; something that can be a thing for me and the opposite for you.

For some countries, as Bhutan, the happiness can be measured, as a result of culture programs, the preservation of the environment, the quality of the political system and its politicians, and the economical development. And some business as Coca-Cola doesn't stop claiming they are the happiness itself; they even say Coca-Cola means happiness in some languages.

The one and only actor Groucho Marx said: "happiness is made of small things: a small yacht, a small manor, a small fortune..." I have to say I'm half agree with him; maybe happiness is not a small fortune, but it's made of small things. Actually, for me, I'm starting to believe that happiness is laying between big things, like small stones between the grass. That doesn't means that "big stones" does not bring you happiness as well.

There is a moment in my daily routine that I wouldn't change for anything in the World. Neither "a small yacht, a small manor and a small fortune". It's a really small thing, but it makes my day, bringing me back to that state of mind, in case I left it at home.

Everyday we take lunch at Pousadinha, not only Juventude Vila Fonche's hostel, but also the kindergarten and the cafeteria. Some days we arrive earlier, and the kindergarten children are still finishing their food.

One day, at the beginning of my EVS, I started to greet them, shaking hands. I did it as one of my uncles used to do with me: shaking not the hand, but the entire arm. Maybe one or two become crazy: smiling, laughing and yelling. The others doesn't be very interested. Maybe I scared them... Anyway, I continued doing that for the next months...

Yesterday, just to say a particular day, we arrived early to Pousadinha again. Almost all the kids had done with they lunch, and they were ready to go to their classroom. But as soon they saw us, Agnes and me, they started to raise their hands and wave them, to call us, to jump and shake... To smile. Full smile within their bright faces. They were barely standing in the queue that their teachers ask them to follow to go up the stairs to its class room.

I smiled back and I started shaking hands and arms with them; sometimes with two or three at the same time, because they're a lot. And most of the times, they wanted me to shake both arms. Of course, once is not enough, and they want to repeat again and again, until their teachers tell them to go up. Then, we said goodbye, all laughing and smiling.

This is happiness for me. Love and appreciation; sharing, giving and taking, which is directly related with volunteering; sweetness. I wrote in another article that happiness is "to dream, to travel, to be joyful, complete and nonconformist. To smile. All small things.

Do you need a "small fortune" now?

You can teach anything to anyone!

You do not believe me, do you? But the thing is, you really can. Oh yes, you can argue with me, find 1o thousands of examples where people 'fail' in learning. And they kinda do, sometimes, for various reasons. The more I teach, the more I learn, and the more amazed I am. No, no, no, do not take me wrong, but there is still a lot I have got to learn. Teaching is also not an easy process.

First of all, people have different capacities, different attention span, different interests, different motor skills. What to one comes in a blink of an eye, for other may be hours of hard work. What for one may be the most interesting thing in the world, for other can be absolutely boring to death and beyond. We are all different, and that is beautiful. It is harmful to say everything is about motivation, because there is a lot of social pressure as well. Oh, you may raise your eyebrow skeptically right now. Are you sure there is no such a thing? So... let's say ballet. When are you supposed to start it? Around 6th year of your life to have a chance to do career, am I right? People 12 years old are considered already late start. Same with playing violin. And those are just two examples I have personal experience with.

As a little girl I wanted to learn both badly, but my parents never could afford it, neither believed I am gonna stuck with at least one. Years passed and I became way to old to do any career, my interests changed, but deep in my heart there was always longing to give it a shot. And... Then I moved to another city, started university. The faith put on my way two amazing people, Mr. Wacław, who still teaches ballet to adults, and Monika, who is passionate about teaching violin to human beings considered way to old for that. They both taught me you are never too old. Never ever. You may not get to national orchestra or opera (well, frankly speaking, who knows? after all everything is possible...) but you can enjoy the activity a lot and get good enough for your satisfaction. The other thing, if you start today, you will be one step closer to your goal.

Second of all, teachers have my greatest admiration. It truly is a service, a hard one. Having a group of 5 trying to make simple macrame bracelets is complicated. Not everybody gets the movements
quickly. Sometimes it would be way better to have them one on one, to guide them and slowly make more space for their own experiments. And imagine having that beautiful mixture of 20 or more various personalities, skills, and interests... Oh, you see, I would never thought boys may actually want to make bracelets, or what is worse - earrings. But here we go, 5 teenage boys focused on passing the needle through tiny beads. I did not want to believe it is even possible, I would honestly expected bad jokes and some self defensive system working on the highest level. How did I got it wrong! It is good though, keeps me amazed with people over and over, and fall in love with them.

But then, you can teach anything to anyone. If a person has motivation (if not, you can always try to wake up that motivation, what may be quite a challenge). If you adjust yourself to your students needs (I know you are just a human being, with bad days, worries, all small lazinesses on the edges; me too; you may have different way of teaching than your student learning, or you may not even like your student). If... If... If... There is hundreds variables. And I am not able to tell you what is the golden rule of teaching, I am still learning, and every situation is different.

I am just saying, you can teach anything you know to anyone. And you can learn anything. And you can even learn how to teach. It is nothing you were born with, seriously. It is not going to be easy, may be even harder than you think, but it is possible. Remember to be patient with yourself, and with others. Patience may be the key.

My yoga/meditation teacher in one of his emails wrote to me, that the reason why you wanna teach also matters. If it is just to satisfy your ego, have people admire you and respect... do you think it is a good reason? But if you want to share your knowledge/skills, lift people up, possibly make them grow taller than you are, climb higher... Hey, that is how we bring the change to the world, isn't it?

And if you have any doubts or different point of view, please leave a comment, I will be glad to discuss with you a bit more about it.

P.S.
Here is one of TED talks which proves that sky is not a limit, your body is neither, and you can do anything you drem of.

P.S. P.S.

Do you see the photo below? It is one of my first soutache earrings vs. one of the newest ones. You would not think they may be such a difference. But... 4 years or more. One step at a time, and not giving up, even though there were days of doubt.

P.S. P.S. P.S.

For me the biggest struggle is music, and sometimes new languages. And juggling. With music I get so stressed and tense and lack confidence, that it just do not work. Well, it does when someone has enough patience and takes steps small enough so I am able to follow them. With languages... I just give myself time, do not push anything, repeat, read, do exercises, speaking comes with patience. With jugging is exactly the same. Believe me, if you repeat and do not give up sooner or later, you are going to get it right!

Those days of the month

You only can see the rainbow when it is rainy.

Some days it all adds up and what you got is not enough.
[...]
Some days are honest, some days are not;
Some days you're thankful for what you've got.
[...]
Some days I hear a voice taking me to another place.
Some days are better then others.

- U2: Some days are better than others.

Let's face it. There is a thing on EVS you will hardly hear about. You will hear about the fun, the friends, the memories, the tasks, the daily experience... But never about the those days we all have; those bad mood days, those dark moments of fear, pressure, loneliness, lack of motivation... And about that is my article today. Woo-hoo!!

At the beginning, everything is brand new. Or at least, it should be. It can be something you can touch, as the food, or something you can feel, as the time you take the lunch. The people you are going to be with is also new to you: mentors, coordinators, co-workers, flatmates... And of course, you will take awareness of what's around you: stores, markets, parks, restaurants...

After one month, or even less, and without realising, you will have set a daily routine. 
Seems nice, isn't it?

The problem with routine is that, after some time, everything seems the same. No new adventures, no new people, no new tasks... Sometimes, it may happen that you feel down, kinda stuck, maybe two months after your arrival, maybe after the on-arrival training, maybe when you think you have everything under control...

Suddenly, there is a day you feel different. There is a day you feel lost and alone in a foreign country, missing home. Or without a clue and any motivations about your work, asking yourself if you are doing right with/for your project. Or disappointed about your current situation (housing, food, daily life, relationships...), wondering if coming here has been a good idea.

Yes, this can happen during your EVS too. But don't be discouraged about this!

Actually, those are better news that it seems: the comfort itself is pushing you out of your place. Now you are starting to think, to discuss with yourself, what you really want, what you need (and what don't) and to realise how are you feeling right now. You see, nothing bad at all.

So, change your mind. First: EVS, or whatever takes you out of your comfort zone is, indeed, a good idea. Probably, it's the best you ever had, but you still haven't time to realise about it. 

And second: this is absolutely normal. Actually, you are really strong for choosing this path, which isn't the easiest one. When you speak with other volunteers, most of them are feeling or has felt one of those moments, one way or another.

This is my experience with those days, if it may help...

Don't get me wrong; I'm very, very, very happy to live and work here, and have the opportunity to live this unique adventure - you can't imagine how happy I am -. But I would be lying if I don't say that there have been some dark days lately, in which I felt falling down, struggling to find a single positive thing...
 ...and even during those days, I get to find, at least, three positive moments.

Those 'dark days' have been days in which I've felt lonely, feeling an empty space inside me, feeling without nobody to share some words, even when I had company (and the only time I'm completely alone is when I'm sleeping). My first reaction was to say: "Ok, I don't like how this feels. I will work to change it". 'Change', in that context, means take it out completely from my life.

But after have some interesting talks, with some members of my family here and everywhere, I decided to give it a try, and let that emptiness feeling be there, showing me whatever it has to teach. That feeling still seated down with me lately, more friendly everyday, working together to walk forward.

For me, the best you can do is that: let them be. They are going to exist, anyway. "Have fun" with them, if you find any creative way to do it. Or not; put them at your side until they finally go.
Because, as well they arrived, they will have gone when you least expect.

And one more thing: it may sound topic but, most of the times, solutions are just a talk away. Maybe with your flatmate(s), with your mentor(s), or with your coordinator(s). Being a journalist, I have to said that I'm still learning to communicate when there are some situations at home I don't like, which I used to keep for myself...

Try to don't do that, because it's the worse you can do. A small issue can grow as a snow ball running down a mountain. Maybe your words doesn't get the desire effect, maybe yes... You'll never know until you open the box. Anyway, it will be worth it.

It is not being an easy change, I have to say. Nobody said so. Well, Coldplay already warned us. But growing as a person is part of the EVS learning process as well. Take it easy, and enjoy the road.